111 - Timmy Is Retarded
خريت اين احمق چند
خواب در چشم ترم مي شكند
I'm Not A Translator!
Let Alone Translating Iranian Poems!
Idiots Do APologize
2
پنجشنبه 31 شهریور1384ساعت 18:16
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110 - When Cows Go Back Home
چند روز ديگه اول پاييز ميشه
ساعت ها تغيير پيدا مي كنن
غروب ها زودتر فرا مي رسن
روزهـا كـوتاه تـر مـي شـوند
گاو ها زودتر ميرن خونشون...
گاوها زودتر بايد برن خونشون
گــــــاوهــــــا... مــــــــــــو...!
Automn will come in Just a few days
We'll Change An Hour In Our Clocks
Sunsets Happen earlier, days Become shorter
And Cows Go home Earlier
Cows Should be @ Home Earlier
Cows...... Mow......
2
چهارشنبه 30 شهریور1384ساعت 3:47
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109 - You All Look The Same to Me
مردم كاملا ديوونه شدن
يكي جلو آدمو ميگيره بستني چوبي بهت ميده
يكي ديگه جلوتو ميگيره, ماشينتو ميگرده
سي دي هاتو جمع و خورد مي كنه
***
تشابه اعتقادات هردوتاتون منو گيج كرده!
Most Of The People Are Crazy
One Stops you And give You an Ice-cream (Because of religious Celebration)
the Other Stops you, Inspects Your Car
Find and Smashess Your Music CD's
***
Your Same Religious Beliefs has Confused me!
Screw You
2
سه شنبه 29 شهریور1384ساعت 15:19
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108 - Leeeaaave Meee Alooone
بچه ات شيطونه؟
ديگه تاب و تحمل نداري؟
همسايه ها شاكي شدن؟
اعصابتو ريخته به هم؟
مدام بهونه ميگيره؟
كلافه ات كرده؟
***
دفعهء بعد كاندوم يادت نره!!
So You Say That:
your child is an evil?
you cant bear him Anymore?
Neighbors Are Complaining?
You have lost Your nerve?
He Keeps on pretexting?
***
Well, Dont Forget condoms next time!!
2
دوشنبه 28 شهریور1384ساعت 1:38
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107 - Girl, All The Bad Guys Want
ببينيد دختر خانم ها
شما اين حق رو داريد تا در مورد تمام پسرها هر حرفي كه دوست داشتيد در بياريد
اما آخرش
اين شما هستيد كه پسرهاي بد تماما به دنبالش هستند!
Listen Girls
You've got the right to talk Any Shit About Boys
But in the End
Its Just You, What All The bad Guys Want!
2
شنبه 26 شهریور1384ساعت 20:27
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106 - Lipstick Lifestyle
اگه با ديد مثبت به قضيه نگاه كنم
مي بينم دانشگاه لعنتي ام حداقل يه خوبي داره
اونم اينكه كلاس هاي مختلط ندارم
خالي از زنگ خوردن موبايل پسر هاي گوگولي
و بوي آزاردهندهء عطرهاي قاطي شدهء دخترهاي جوياي شوهر
If We consider in the subject in a positive way
we can see that my god damn university has at least one benefit
and that is, I have no female classmates
Free of Goody Goody Guys mobiles ringings
and the annoying smell of - searching for dates - girls mixed perfumes
2
جمعه 25 شهریور1384ساعت 22:22
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105 - Give It up son! I'm Doing this My Way
دختره روز و شبش رو به نگاه كردن صفحه هاي مجلهء دختران مدل
و... مي گذروند و غرق اين رويا بود
كه اي كاش يكي از اونها بود
بلكه كسي دوستش داشته باشه
***
شايد نمي دونست
من مايل بودم نقش عاشقش رو بازي كنم
يــــــــــــا....
هــــوم... شايد هم من نمي دونستم
كه اون مايل نيست نقش معشوقهء منو بازي كنه!
كسي چه ميدونه...
The Girl Used to read Model magazines all day and night
hoping she was one of them
so someone would love her
***
Maybe she wasnt aware that
I was eager to play the role of her Lover
orrr.....
mmm.... Maybe I didnt know that
she doesnt wanna play the role of my love!
who knows...
2
پنجشنبه 24 شهریور1384ساعت 18:12
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104 - Beverly Hills
تنها يك جهش ژنتيكي-فرهنگي تونست من گوسفند رو
از خيل عظيم گلهء گوسفندان جدا كنه
***
زندگي شيرينيه!
وقتي تنها در سبزه زارها پرسه مي زني
و هر وقت مجبور شدي با گرگها عشق بازي مي كني
«من اين عشق بازي رو به زندگي در گلهء سابق خودم ترجيح ميدم»
Only a Genetical-Cultural Mutation could
abstract me as a sheep from the whole Sheep herd
***
Life is nice!
When you graze over green hills
and Whenever you were forced to, you just sleep with wolves!
I'd rather make love to Wolves than to live in my own herd
2
چهارشنبه 23 شهریور1384ساعت 20:50
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103 - Going Away To College
تابستون داره تموم ميشه و ما هنوز منتظر هستيم
ننه باباي يكيمون برن مسافرت!
چه مسخره!
The Summer is Ending and We Are Still waiting for
One Of Our parents, to go on a vacation
How Pathetic!
2
سه شنبه 22 شهریور1384ساعت 17:56
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102 - Estranged
مزاحم نشيد!
در حال حاضر هيچ كس نمي تونه حال من رو
كه گوشهء تختم نشسته ام و سرمو توي دستام گرفته ام درك كنه
فقط به اولين رگبار شديد پاييزي بگيد بياد تو
تا در حالي كه من چشمهامو بسته ام و دندونهامو روي هم فشار ميدم
خيس خيسم كنه
DO NOT DISTURB!
Noone can understand and ease my pain right now
while I'm sitting in my bed and holding my head in my hands
Just Tell The first automn's Thundershower to come in
and wet me down while I'm squeezing my teeth with eyes closed
2
دوشنبه 21 شهریور1384ساعت 19:37
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101 - One Minute Silence
این تنها من و تو هستیم که بهای حماقت و وحشیگری احمقانه و حیوانی تروریست ها و ناجیان دنیا را می پردازیم...
Its just me And You paying the price of Terrorists and World Saviours stupidity and their animalistic brutalysm...
2
یکشنبه 20 شهریور1384ساعت 17:12
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100 - Feeling like a Hundred
همون احساسي رو دارم
وقتي كه عدد نوشته هام دو رقمي شد
تنها تفاوتش در شدت احساساتم خلاصه ميشه
10 برابر احمقانه تر, مسخره تر, مزخرف تر و دوست داشتني تر!
I've got the same old feeling that I had
when I reached my 10th Note
The Difference is just
its Ten Times More Stupid, Funny, Crazy and Lovelier
2
یکشنبه 20 شهریور1384ساعت 11:37
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99 - A Bedtime Story #1
عزيز احمق من! مثل يك بچه خوابيدي و هيچي نمي فهمي....من تمام اون چيزي كه به وقوع مي پيونده به علاوهء حقيقتي كه بايد بدوني رو ضبط مي كنم تا..... اونقدر دوستت دارم, اونقدر خواستني هستي
كه مي خوام قلبتو بشكنم و به جاش مال خودمو بهت بدم.....تو الان مال مني مي تونم با خيال راحت, رها از شرم كودكانه ام.....
***
چشمهامو باز كردم, هنوز سرم گيج مي رفت
رفته بود, روي ميز يك نوار كاست آبي رنگ به چشم مي خورد
يك يادداشت رويش گذاشته بود:
«تنها گوشش كن!»
و ديگه هيچ وقت نديدمش
My Stupid Darling! you're asleep like a child and dont feel anything.....I'm recording all the things that will go on here and the truth of our relationship so.... I Love You So Much......You Look SO fine to me that
I wanna Break Your Heart And give you mine instead...You are already mine and I can Freely, without any childish shame........Byeeee
***
I opened My eyes, I still could feel the vertigo
She Was Gone, There was a blue Cassette on the Table
There was a Note on it:
Listen to it when you're alone.
And I Never Saw Her Again
2
شنبه 19 شهریور1384ساعت 1:36
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98 - One Wild Night
به تماشاي مرغ و خروس تخم طلاي همسايه نشسته ام و خرت خرت چيپس مي خورم
تقصير من نيست! ساعت 2 شب چراغشون روشنه ايرادي نداره,
اما آيا نبايد پرده اتاقشون -اونم توي يك منطقهء آپارتماني- كشيده باشه؟
***
ياد خاطرهء دوران بچگيم افتادم:
3 نصف شب,
يك دوربين دو چشمي
و 3 جفت چشم
8, 10 و 12 ساله كه...
***
براي آگاه شدن از ادامهء ماجرا
كارت Viaccess خود را وارد دستگاه رسيور كنيد!
I'm watching the Couple living in the front Apartment and eating Chips!
Its none of my Business or not my fault, No matter that their lights are on at 2 AM
but Shouldnt They just draw the Curtains specially when it is all flats in such neighbor?
***
it Reminded me Of one of My childhood Memories
One Binocular and 3 pairs of
8, 10 and 12 year old eyes that...
***
For reading the whole Story
Please enter Your Viaccess card into your Reciever or...
2
جمعه 18 شهریور1384ساعت 4:18
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97 - The Female Marilyn Manson Living Upstairs
دختري كه درست 7 طبقه بالاتر در اتاقي مشابه زندگي مي كنه
منو كاملا ارضا مي كنه
تنها, ديدن روزانهء او, تمام روياهاي وحشتناك منو به حقيقت تبديل ميكنه
The girl Who lives 7 floors Upper in the same Room
Completely Satisfies Me
Just My Daily Visiting her, Makes All My Nightmares Come True
2
چهارشنبه 16 شهریور1384ساعت 1:37
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96 - Babe, You Turn Me On
پخش كردن كاغذهاي تبليغاتي
بيشتر از اينكه يك كار بيهوده باشه
يه تحقيق جالبه براي پي بردن به اين موضوع كه
تنها درصد كمي از مردم ما اشغال ها را توي سطل مي اندازند
***
آيا شما هم يه ايراني احمق هستيد؟
The Act Of Barkers Spreading papers
can be a cool Assay rather than a Dawdle
to figure out the fact that
only a few number of us put their trashes in the Trash Bins
***
Are You An Iranian Idiot Too?
2
سه شنبه 15 شهریور1384ساعت 2:7
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95 - Semi-Ashton Project #1
صداقت را برايم ديكته مي كني؟؟!
من هيچ وقت نمرهء املام كمتر از 20 نبوده.
Are You Dictating HONESTY to me?
My Dictation Grade Was Never Less That +A
Andy You Are Punk'D
2
یکشنبه 13 شهریور1384ساعت 17:15
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94 - The International Name For Quality
تفاوت فرهنگ در بالا و پايين شهر
رو ميشه با كاندوم هم حس كرد
دو ويترين بزرگ در كنار صندوق داروخانه
با انواع مدل ها از معروف ترين Brand هاي كاندوم با قيمت هاي متفاوت
و در جاي ديگه
قفسهء كوچولويي اون زير زيرها كه شايد تنها يكي دو مدل 3 تا 100 تومن! پيدا ميشه...
***
در ضمن لطفا در كامنت نوشتن خودتون رو كنترل كنيد
نظرخواهي من در و ديوار كلاستون نيست كه هر حرفي رو توش بنويسيد!
ممنون!
You Can Notice The difference of culture
between people who live in Uptown and those who live in downtown neighbors even by Condoms!
two big showcases near the Cashier Section
Where you can see ALL the Types and Famous Brands Of Condoms
and the other one
a small hidden shelf that you can only find 2 or 3 poor quality and Cheap brands
***
Dudes Control Yourself In writing Comments Please!
The commenting Section is not the Wall Of Your classroom to Write ANYTHING On!
Thank You!
2
یکشنبه 13 شهریور1384ساعت 1:33
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93 - War On Errorysm
استاد اين درست كه شما مي گيد واژهء «زن گرفتن» از اين جريان تاريخي كه در اون
قبيله ها به هم حمله مي كردند,
مردها را مي كشتند و «زنها را مي گرفتند» و با خود مي بردند
گرفته شده , اما ميشه بگين پس اين واژهء «شوهر كردن» از كجا آمده؟؟؟!!!
***
نتيجه: بمب گذاري انتحاري نافرجامي كه فقط بمب گذار قرباني مي شود: ...اخراج!
No Translation Available
Idiots Do Apologize
2
جمعه 11 شهریور1384ساعت 15:11
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92 - The Arctic Ocean
پست قبلي اصلا ارزش نوشتنو نداشت
كلا فكر كردن به چيزي تهوع آور بي ارزشه
***
فقط مي خواستم بگم
درسته من از همون اولش علاقه اي به شكار فنچ نداشتم
اما توي تور اين ماهيگير پير, ماهي كيلكا مياد همه اش
***
همچنان بايد با كنسرو تن ماهي زندگي كرد
ديگه حالم داره به هم مي خوره
Last Post Wasnt Worth Writing
Cause thinking about something Sick, is just worthless
***
I just wanted to say
Although I wasnt a bird hunter from those early days
but This Old Fisher man Hooks Up Only "Kilka"
***
I Still Should Live with Canned tuna
I Feel Sick
2
پنجشنبه 10 شهریور1384ساعت 23:57
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91 - Cemetary Drive
ولشون كن! همهء پسرها پستند!
راستي بهت گفتم؟ ديروز عصر داداش نگين رو توي خيابون ديدم!
***
سناريويي احمقانه و تكراري مناسب همون گروه سني 16-19 يا شايد هم 20
كسي چه ميدونه...؟
اصلا كي ديگه اهميت ميده؟
Forget it! guys are Bastards
oh Did I tell you? I saw her Brother Last night In The street!!
***
A Stupid Routine Scenario for the early Ages of 16-19 or even 20
Who knows...?
Who Cares?
2
پنجشنبه 10 شهریور1384ساعت 18:10
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90 - State Of Iranian Democracy : Political Internet Censorship
مشترك گرامي
دسترسي به وبلاگ خودتان هم امكان پذير نمي باشد
2
چهارشنبه 9 شهریور1384ساعت 2:57
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89 - Bad Charlotte
بچهء معصوم توي كالسكه
با نگاه غمگينش بهم حالي كرد:
تمام اون چيزي كه باعث شد من الان اينجا باشم
تنها اين بود كه مامان يه بار از بابا خواست كه پشت كمرشو بخارونه...
That Poor Sweet Child In The pram
Represented Me With his Sorrow stricken Look that:
All Mommy Wanted Was a Back Scratch
2
سه شنبه 8 شهریور1384ساعت 16:35
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88 - The Daily Offspring
قفل كرده ام تنها بدلايل:
اينGoogle Earth پدرسوخته!
تفاوت فاحش طرز فكر من و مامان گرامي
خواب 1 ساعته در شب گذشته براي تماشاي Mtv's 2005 VMA
جايزه بردن Green Day و The Killers
كور شدن چشم هر Snoop Dogg اي كه نتواند ديد!
قاطي بازي روزانه
اما با وجود تمام اينها بايد اذعان كنم:
دختران و خانمها از اين زندگي روزمرهء بنده پيچيده تر هستند
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لطفا براي سلامتي خود قبل از ورود به اتاق چند تيكه پنبه به گوشهاي خود فرو كنيد. متشكرم
I'm Locked Up because of:
This Goddamn Google Earth!
The God Damn Generation Gap between Me And My Mamma
Sleeping for only 1 Goddamn Hour last night to watch 2005 MTv's VMA
"Green Day's" and "The Killers" Winning The VMA Award
In Front Of Sorrow Filled And Jealous Eyes Of That Stupid "Snoop Dogg"!
My Daily State Of Being An Annoyer
Nevertheless I Should Admit that
Girls And Women Are Even More complicated than all These
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For Your Own Safety Please Put Some Cotton into Your EArs Before Enetering My Room! thank you
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دوشنبه 7 شهریور1384ساعت 17:47
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87 - Written By An Unknown Artist
زنان گوسفندند
تنها و تنها به اين دليل كه مردان
وقتي يه خوشگلشو ميبينند
مثل گرگ زوزه مي كشند
و دهانشان آب ميافتد
Women Are Sheeps
Bacause And Only because
When Men See a Nice One Of Them
They Bay Like Wolves
and slaver
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یکشنبه 6 شهریور1384ساعت 14:28
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86 - Sleeping Awake
- استخاره چيه؟
- يه جور شير خط انداختنه, منتها با قرآن
- استغفرلله حاج آقا «احمق ايراني!»
Religious Slangs and Expressions Hard to translate
Idiots Do Apologize
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شنبه 5 شهریور1384ساعت 11:57
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85 - Staring @ The Sun
«وبلاگ جالب!, نوشته هاي زيبا!!, مطلب گيرا!!! و... به من هم سر بزن!!!!!!»
اين چرت و پرتا چيه داري ميگي؟
گرفتي مارو؟
YOu Gotta Beautiful Weblog!, Nice notes!!, Adsorbent!!! and... Visit my site!!!!!!
What The Hell Are You Talking About?!!
Kidding Me??!
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شنبه 5 شهریور1384ساعت 1:27
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84 - The Red Poison Of Your Lips
عدالت اجتماعي:
يكي براي من
يكي براي تو
يكي هم براي بقيه!
دوباره...
State Of Social Justice:
One For Me
One For You
One For The Rest
Again...
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جمعه 4 شهریور1384ساعت 0:19
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83 - Mama Roach (Part 3): She Finally Proved That I'm An Idiot
درست زماني كه داشتم كليپ: Green Day - American Idiot
رو نگاه مي كردم, مامان باز غر ميزنه:
«از بس اينهارو گوش كردي, روت اثر گذاشته اند! قيافه شو ببين...!»
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مـــامـــي جـــون!!! از اينكه بالاخره يه بار روحيه مو دركم كردي حسابي ذوق مرگ شده ام!
Just the time that I Was Watching The Greenday's American Idiot Video Clip,
Momy Nags Again:
They Have an Affect on you! Cause You Watch and Listen To too Much Of These!!!
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Mommy! I'm So Glad that you Finally understood me once!
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پنجشنبه 3 شهریور1384ساعت 13:3
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82 - Mama Roach (Part 2): Nobody Likes You When You're 23-1
امروز Mtv داشت مدام كليپ راك پخش مي كرد.
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توي كليپ ?Blink 182 - whats My Age Again اعضاي خنگول گروه لخت توي خيابون ميدوند
«البته كه قسمتهاي حساس شطرنجي شده اند!»
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من دارم شيريني مي خورم و توي دل خودم به اسگلي اين 3 تا خنگول مي خندم!!!
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يك چيزي توي مايه هاي مناظرهء خسرو و مجنون در شعر نظامي:
تو گيسو ميبيني من پيچش مو... (يا چيزي شبيه اين)
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مامان غر ميزنه: عوضش كن! نميبيني داره چي نشون ميده؟ حيا ات...
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تو شومبول ميبيني من 3 تا اسگل...
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محققان لرزه نگاري و ژئوتكنيك دانشگاه تهران خبر از وقوع زلزلهء قريب الوقوعي در اطراف آرامگاه نظامي خبر داده اند!
Mtv Was showing Too Much Rock Video Clips
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In <<The Blink 182's: Whats My Age Again?>>, the 3 crazy band Formers are Runnin Naked in The Streets!
By The Way: Pubic Area's are Censored!
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I'm Having My Cookies and I'm Laughin at their Crazy Funny Attitudes!
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Something Like the Poem we've got in One Of IRanians Greatest Poets: NEZAMI Which Says:
You See Her Hair, but I See her curls...
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Mom is Naggin: Dont' You See What Is Being Broadcasting? Change The Channel... Where has your Attitude gone?
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You See Dicks and I See 3 Jackass...
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The Geotechnic Professionals In Tehran's University Has Alerted about an Earthquake around Where NEZAMI's Tomb Is!
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پنجشنبه 3 شهریور1384ساعت 2:20
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81 - Mama Roach (Part 1): Portrait Of An Iranian Family
امروز در عميق ترين رخداد مخابراتي قرن,
پست مدرن ترين صحنهء زندگيمو تجربه كردم!
مامان از خونه به محل كار پدرم تلفن مي كنه و پيغام ميده
بلافاصله پدرم از محل كار به تلفن شخصي ام زنگ ميزنه
وقتي صداشو روي انسرينگ ميشنوم گوشي رو برميدارم
و پيغام رو ميگيرم:
فلاني, نون و شير بايد بخري, برو همين الان بگير...!!!!
In The Biggest Communicating Event Of The Century,
I Experienced The Most Post Modern Scene Of My Life Today!
Mom Called Dad From Home and left him some Messages
then He Called My Own Telephone Number, From His Office immediately
and When I Heard His Voice on The A.M. I Picked Up the Phone and I Heard Him
Giving The Messages To me:
Hey Boy! Go To The Supermarket And Buy Bread And Milk Right Now!!!
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چهارشنبه 2 شهریور1384ساعت 13:30
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80 - (Mama Roach (Intro
يكي دو روزه بينمون شكرآب شده
خودمونيم مامانم سوژهء مناسبي واسه پست هام بوده
و من همش توي اتاقم داشتم به موضوع هاي مختلف فكر مي كردم
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چند تا مطلب دنباله داره! واسا تا بگم!
My Mom and I Are Angry About Each Other
I Wish I had Focused On Such Great Subject Instead of
Staying at My Room and Thinking About Funny Subjects
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I just need a chance to Tell You! ITs Soooo Coool!
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چهارشنبه 2 شهریور1384ساعت 4:1
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79 - Your Bore
دقت كردي؟
افراد كودن, كند ذهنيشون در به جا آوردن آشنايان قديمي رو
به بچه معروف شدن تعبير مي كنند!
Have you Noticed That?
Dumb People Invert Their Imbecility and Stupidity to Recognize and Remember their Old friends
into Them, Becoming a famous Asshole!
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سه شنبه 1 شهریور1384ساعت 1:34
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